Saturday, November 13, 2010

The Unexpected Hair Cut.

Today was the day that comes for almost every mom Lillibean cut her hair and then she cut Jitterbugs I am truly upset by this for a few reasons.

Long hair precut

Reason #1 I was not prepared for this in anyway I was sure that Lillibean would never cut her hair she loves having long hair and was mad at me for 3 weeks when I took her to get it cut in the spring.






Bad Super Cuts

Reason #2 it took over a year to get Jitterbugs hair to grow out to all one length after a hair cut at Super Cuts that gave her some atrocious bangs(she looked like a boy).




My sister cut my hair




Reason #3 Jitterbug didn't like the hair cut Lillibean gave her and cried for almost an hour.










Reason #4 We are supposed to have our family picture done next week and this is what we now have to work with.
Gritting my teeth is a smile right.
I might have made a mistake.
They look happy about it don't they.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Dirty looks and feeling like a bad mommy



The miniature jailers have decided that they would rather be out and about instead of sitting at home and/or napping so in an effort to keep them entertained I have kept the schedule pretty full. BIG mistake they now think it is their right to be chauffeured to and fro at a moments notice.  Whether its to the park, a play date or even if its just to lunch its always something.

The first thing out of their mouths in the morning "where are we going today mommy?". If I dare say no where this is when the tears and why nots start which lead to crying jags and melt down fits about how its not fair. So starting this week there are not going to be trips to the mall or McDonald's or Walmart or Target or even the park until they are a little more thankful for what they have.

We have noticed that Lillibean has developed a twitch, however we think that is more likely caused by being confined inside with Jitterbug for the last 3 days.

I am now worn out from the constant badgering to go somewhere and think that I may have made a mistake by making this decision. As I am now trapped inside with them and can not escape.

One of the reasons that I decide to not go out in public with the kids is that I am tired of all the judging from other people.

If I don't correct their behavior in public then I get dirty looks and I feel like a bad mommy.

If say something and they don't stop I get dirty looks and I feel like a bad mommy.

If I yell at them I get dirty looks and I feel like a bad mommy.

If I stop them and make them look me in the eye I get dirty looks and I feel like a bad mommy.

Can't win for loosing at least here at home there are no dirty looks. I still feel like a bad mommy.

Its a vicious cycle I have also found that I place expectations on my kids based on what I perceive as others expectations of good behavior.

For example if the girls and I are out together shopping and they are just walking along next to(not holding my hands), walking a little in front of me or maybe even skipping beside me as long as no one looks at us with the judgemental look  I let them do it but it all changes when someone gives us the look. You know the one the one that says you need to control your children they are heathens. I may not see anything wrong with what they are doing but it bothers someone else so I try to control them. I become super demanding about staying with me/holding my hand and walking nicely.

Or we go the other way and one or both children has crossed a line one to many times and I am trying  to explain why they should not climb on/pick up/run or any other multitude of behaviors that should not be done in public and I am getting the look you know the one that says you are being to harsh leave that child alone. At which point I have to either back down and no one learns anything or stand my ground and look like bad mommy.

I am tired of being judged and found lacking whether its a true perception or not I still feel like a bad mommy.